The Final Countdown

After I put my last blog post I realized that I forgot to explain where my title came from. It’s pretty self-explanatory in and of itself – I’m Mexican and I’m going on an adventure! However there’s a story behind it, kind of. Like most things in my life I took the idea from a movie I saw when I was in high school. You’ve probably heard of it, Once Upon A Time in Mexico. It’s not the greatest movie in the world but it’s plenty entertaining in its own odd eyeball-less Johnny Depp kind of way. Anyways if you have seen the movie you probably immediately know where the whole Mexi-CAN idea comes from. At one point Johnny Depp, a crooked CIA agent (or FBI, I can’t remember), is talking to a hitman he’s hired to kill Antonio Bandera’s character. The hitman questions his ability to kill ‘El Mariachi’ and Johnny Depp’s response is, “Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN’T?” To which of course the hitman replies, “I’m a Mexi-CAN.” Ever since then I, plus others, have referred to myself as a Mexi-CAN and that was how this blog title came to be.

Recently, this Mexi-CAN has been thinking a lot about her trip to Japan. Now this trip has been on my mind for a while no doubt but as I’ve told some people around me it hasn’t quite hit me yet that I’ll be spending a year in Japan. The other day, though, I was puttering around my house when all of a sudden I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the stomach. I’m going to be in another country, for 10 months no less! I’ll be surrounded by people I’ve never met before speaking a language that I still manage to mess up all the time despite the fact that I’ve spent two years learning it. This was probably the first time that I truly realized what I had gotten myself into. That’s not to say I suddenly regretted my decision, but rather it dawned on me how big this whole year abroad thing really is. And how much bigger it is than me. I know that the first step off that plane I’m just going to have to take a really deep breath and take the plunge. I have to throw myself head first into this or I won’t come back alive. Part of me is glad that the plane ride to Japan is about 13 hours that way I can go through about 5 freak outs before I actually get there.

Although I am a little worried about the very long 13 hours my butt and I are going to endure together. Even though I’ve made the journey there’s a very big difference between that trip and this one; I wasn’t alone. The first time I went to Japan was with a group of students, 8 of us in total, and I was sitting next to my now good friend Dianna. During the flight Dianna and I managed to go from acquaintances to friends and by the time we landed we realized we were practically soul mates. How did this happen? The two of us very stupidly decided to spend the entire 13 hours talking. Now we enjoyed every minute of it and its part of the reason that we are still friends despite being far apart so I can’t say that I regret it. But while everyone else was fully awake and enjoying the bullet train ride from Tokyo to Nagaoka Dianna and I looked like zombies.

Now that I know better I’m not that worried about lack of sleep rather I’m afraid of catching a bad case of cabin fever. Sometimes I can barely handle the 2 ½ hour plane ride from Ohio to Texas, how am I going to survive 13 hours? That’s why I’ve been bulking up my music library since I’ve been home. New additions include another English Beat CD (if you’ve never listened to their stuff I recommend Tears of a Clown and Save it For Later), Bob Marley, Eddie Grant (Electric Avenue!), Earth Wind and Fire, Robin Thicke, Shaka Khan, plus some kumbia and reggaeton. That plus sleep and in flight movies should hopefully tide me over.


Along with my own preparations it seems that my cable company has decided to jump on board with Operation Get Jazmin Ready for Japan. Lately they have been playing a LOT of movies dealing with Japan and I don’t mean movies made by Japanese people. Oh no. Turns out that in the 1990’s American cinema had an odd fascination with Japan. I’ve decided to share with all of you the pearls of knowledge these wonderful films have bestowed upon me.

First, I will arrive in Japan (throw out the Jazmin you remember and picture me as a big buff white dude who’s most likely either a cop or a business man) and I will meet a mysterious but beautiful Japanese woman. I will of course immediately sleep with her in her extremely traditional Japanese house where after our hot steamy affair she will don a kimono and sit sensually in the middle of a room covered in tatami mats. Then an army of ninjas will for no reason break into the house, kill her, and nearly kill me. Afterwards I will be chased through pachinko parlors, befriend a cute Japanese girl who for no reason whatsoever decides to help me despite the fact that I’m bleeding, and along the way I might kill a ninja or two. Of course there will be a showdown inside a bullet train where a Japanese couple decides to help me out as I try and defeat the unrelenting ninja army. Oh yeah and it just so happens that the Japanese couple carries a sword and a bow and arrows with them wherever they go.

Wow, I guess I’ll be busy in Japan, huh? And that was just one of the movies I’ve had the misfortune of seeing. There was another one that was much worse. That one taught me that I’ll be chased around by the yakuza, sleep with another beautiful Japanese woman, and will also have to fight for my father’s honor. Because apparently he did something shameful. Tsk tsk. Ninjas or the yakuza I guess it all comes down to the fact that at some point I’ll have a beautiful Japanese woman throw herself on me. I suppose there are worse ways to spend a year abroad. Any way we can make him a guy? Probably not, can’t mess with a classic storyline after all!

This got me to thinking though. What are some actual dangers I might run into in Japan? I’ve come up with two so far.

1. Pretty Boy Bands – this epidemic has taken Japan by storm, not to mention the growing population in America that deals with this affliction day in and day out. Why should you be afraid of them? Despite those boyishly cute smiles and innocent clothes these Medusas of the music industry can ensnare you with just one song. At first you may not like it but over time their addicting songs will soon never leave your head leading to increased time on Google and YouTube. Whatever you do you must not look these creatures in the eye. If you do I’m afraid it’s all over. You may not turn into stone but you’ll never be able to get rid of this terrible disease. Much like herpes this ailment will come and go in waves and tends to strike at the most inopportune moments.

2. Stylish Hair Syndrome – when you first get to Japan you might not think much of the men’s hairstyles. You might even laugh! But this is no laughing matter. This spiky, often dangerous looking hair is a serious problem for males age 16 – 30. Symptoms include spending an inordinate amount on hair gel, purchasing your first flat iron, and chronically being late in the morning. Thankfully this is curable although you’ll need a friend to help you get through this. First, begin shaving off about 10 minutes every other morning when you get ready for your day. Soon you’ll be back to your old routine. Secondly, go shopping with a buddy and tell them to not let you go anywhere near the hair products. Also you should give them any contraband in your house, and yes that includes the flat iron. Remember, you can beat this!

Ah but enough poking fun. I really am excited about going to Japan. I’m also really tired of saying that. I feel like I tell everyone that, even though I’m feeling so much more than just excitement. The problem is that there isn’t really a word to sum up how I feel about leaving for Japan. I can’t even think of a group of words that can explain it. But Japan is definitely lurking in the back of my mind all the time nowadays and I spend about 20 minutes nearly every night lying in bed thinking about it before I fall asleep.

I hope to perhaps have one last entry before Japan, and after that I can’t promise anything except that I will try my very best not to neglect my duties.